Public transport is just a representation of the society, except on wheels. Weird things happen when people travel on vehicles that are not theirs. They talk loudly across the compartments on trains. Some lurk around the ladies compartment, while others choose to sit and discuss family matters as loudly as they can. Then there are some quiet ones, who’ll just sit and read their erotic novels in the corner, like good citizens. You’ll hear the strangest conversations and the wackiest of things when you’re travelling with strangers.
Here are a few weird things that can only be experienced when you’re travelling on public transport.
1. “Thoda khisak naa, please.“
A conversation I overheard on the metro: “Jagah banane se banti hai,okay! ” “Achha? Ek plot hamara bhi bana do fir South Delhi mein.“
2. Someone else’s sweat on you!
“Yahi baaki tha bas.“
3. When you’re seated, and someone stands right in front of you.
Sorry, but your crotch is blocking my vision.
4. People talking loudly on their ‘phablets’
Look, phablet is funny enough. I don’t need to hear how you drank 2 bottles of whiskey alone.
5. When you’re standing in the metro and there is an armpit in your face.
Short people have tough lives. Sometimes.
6. There’s always someone who needs to smoke while on the bus.
“Thodi der ruk nahi sakta na tu?“
7. Couples’ PDA, making life miserable for single people.
“Thodi der ruk nahi sakte na tum log?“
8. Old men discussing politics.
A quote from a famous modi fan -“Modi ji chahein to 10 Obama ko akele patak dein!“
9. People overhearing your conversation and laughing.
Yeah, I do that too.
10. The Window seat obsession.
We all fight for it. It made sense some years ago. Now it’s just you and your smartphone. Right?
11. They lean on you. They always do.
“Kya karu bhai? Peechhe se dhakka aa raha hai. “
12. When you’re texting and someone is creepily reading everything.
“Le bhai, tu hi likh le.“
13. People taking selfies on the metro.
“Haan waise, toilet me lene se toh better hai.”
14. They ALWAYS want change!
“Kahaan se laun itna change? Mai bulla hoon kya?“
15. The guy who sleeps on your shoulder. Unapologetic-ally.
“Yeh footpath nahi hai. Sone ki jagah par soya kar.“
16. Sometimes you really need a gas mask, because you know…
“Yeh kya badtameezi hai!“
I’m not complaining though. I always have a great time travelling on public transport. Mostly, because I’m a ‘Marwari‘, but also because it’s good fun.